Case Study: Men are equivalent to the dirty Nike’s in the back of my closet

It seriously just dawned on me how much I treat my relationships with men like a pair of shoes.  Yes I am making a comparison to shoes and no this is not in some sad desperate attempt to sound like that chick from Sex in the City.  I honestly only have about 10 pairs of shoes …. and they have been the same 10 for years and a few that I have borrowed from family or friends…so no extreme shoe craze here. 

When I first meet the new beau in my life (soon to be beau) I see no flaws or lack of qualities.  He is perfect in every aspect…..and so I try him on.  If I can walk away from that first date with no blisters I can tell that I will want to see him again.  And I do….slow once every other week or so.  Then I begin to realize that he compliments me and I want to have him with me and a part of my life even more.  ANd so he does.  And I break him in…..and things are well, really well.

Several months go by and my eyes are suddenly opened to potential flaws that i didn’t notice before … or were not even there yet, but they are now.  I try to continue on without noticing them … but eventually they begin to affect my stride….and my stride becomes angry and wants off the path it is going.  So i then decide its time to ditch these shoes (yes we are still talking about men) and throw them in the back of the closet. 

But all is not lost…because once in a while i see those old dirty flawed shoes in the back of my closet and feel pitty for them….maybe i should give them a ride around th e block for old times sake.  IDIOT…..YOU NEED TO DONATE THEM TO THE LESS FORTUNATE>>>>SOMEONE WHO COULD REALLY USE THEM AND APPRECIATE THEM EVEN WITH THEIR FLAWS<<<<<< dumbass

I think I need to go shoeless for quite some time

done done done

no its not an interesting title but thats pretty much what i want in EVERY aspect of my life right now….everything to just be done.

 Today my ex husband received a phone call from the ER that he brought our son into on Thursday morning LAST week (its now monday) and they informed him that this whole time it was NOT in fact the flu but strep throat instead!  Great!  Fortunately he was able to take 2 hours off of work to go pick him up out of daycare and bring him into the dr’s office for a shot of penicillin! woohoo! and now my mother — THANK GOD— was able to take a half day to watch him.  I will be going into work later tomorrow so that he will have been on his meds for over 24 hours!

 $$$….i am sooooo tired of being broke.  I dont know what to do…i have no idea how to relieve my stress of being broke…generally i would drink…but yeah found out that that too costs money.  Fortunately my ex husband will be able to assist me monthly once again probably starting in April, so if i can survive one more month i believe $200 monthy installments would be all i would require from him.

Men…can i just be done in general…its happening, i am just constantly thinking about my “non” date date and the gentleman it involved and the fact that i probably wont see him again for god knows how long and that if i were to see him again i dont know what would be between the two of us.  AND THEM DAMN EX’S i need to get rid of them…you would think, but they (ok maybe one) is actually a really good friend of mine who does care about me and would do almost anything for me (other than quit drinking dummy poo poo head)….which would prolly have saved our relationship.  THEY SUCK…and i really REALLY need to stop giving out my number! STOP IT!

The only thing i am not done with at this point is family….or maybe i am.  My g-ma is doing her second round of chemo today which is good and she is at home too so double bonus…and she asked for a wig so triple bonus sorta…maybe not.  But we just got some disturbing news about my aunt….very VERY bad news that you would have not ever thought about.  All these years we thought that her only addiction was shopping…if only that were true…all though that could have very well been the reason that she fell victim to a gambling addiction…which lead to the cops coming into her house with a search warrant and her being arrested in front of her husband and three children.  yeah…..bad

exhaustion and anger

My poor son has been sick the last couple of days which means that I have missed work which pisses me off cuz I was on a role! I mean i was hot at work…not to mention that once again I …not DAD had to take time off of work to take care of my kid…which is fine cuz he was really REALLY ill but still…its the principle of the matter.  Anyways….I am really looking to succeed in my position and i really do love what i do.   Today though its beginning to dawn on me that i may not be wanted in one such way.  I was awarded this great account a little while back and yet have not been involved with it cuz the main guy that was on it before wont back down.  He tells me that our contact is no longer our contact yet he talks to him EVERY day to get trucks and then my boss sends me an email for a lane that i should offer this account and when i do this GUY tells me that i should tell them to ignore the email and he calls them personal to offer the lane….seriously WTF????  OHHH and lets not forget the little trip that they just took down to meet everyone down there…even one of my managers was shocked that i wasn’t invited to go with.  hmmmm yeah wtf???  Dont get me wrong, this guy is funny and i am learning a ton about the business from him….but i think its just a little shady whats going on.  And if this kind of crap is going to happen i really dont want to focus my time and energy into an account that really isn’t mine….right? GRRRRRRRRRRRRRR…..i need a vacation from my life i think…no more mommy, no more account exec no more EX BOYFRIENDS CALLING ME ALL THE TIME…just a vacation into hybernation with 10 good books and wine, lots and lots of wine

Let sleeping angels lie

I love sleeping pics of my children dont ever want to wake them.

Yes my son does drool and yes he does sleep with his eyes open and NO he will not let me put a pillow case on his pillow because no matter which position he is lying in he likes to play with the silk lining around the pillow.  While most kids have a nuk, blanket, stuffed animal, mine has silk linings, tags or whatever else he can find with that texture!!!

Lil’ Ragu

So for several years now every pregnant woman that i come across i refer to as “Ragu”.  Why you might ask, simply because everyone else calls the preggo and since preggo is a spaghetti sauce (that i love) i figure i will refer to all the pregnants as “ragu” (another sauce that i hate-but the word works ) So where does “lil’ Ragu” come in, well my baby sister is “ragu” and i use to call her (and so did every male in our family) “lil’ Bit” and i told her that i am now calling her “lil’ Ragu” and she looks at me and says “cant you just call me by my name” i told her no Joys of being a big stinky sister!!!  Anywho this is her first pregnancy and we couldn’t be more excited for her and my brother in law.  Her due date is Sept 11th (yes i promise you) but i want all of you woman who have ever been ragu to take a look at this picture and tell me….reallY????

 

and she thinks the doctor is off on the due date…that it should be moved back to october :O  What a tard, but it is her first pregnancy so i will give her a little slack on that.  So much more to talk about but slightly busy right now but had to get this pic up   Love ya Lil’ Ragu

Super Mom to the rescue mmmrrrphhhh

Can it just end….I know my boss likes me but when you tell him that you have to take off cuz your kid is sick and you have to take her to the doctor cuz the school nurse thinks its strep and he says ok but you know that look on his face is “oh crap here we go” and you just wanna bury your head.  Yeah i got that today….and here’s the kicker…SHE HAS A COLD!!! so i shot her off to daycare and went on my merry way back to work!  I love my daughter but i think there is more to it than she is letting on!  And I hate her father…..this is how i ran out of PTO so quickly last year….I ME MYSELF had to take days off CONSTANTLY when she or my son were sick.  neither father helped me out….well i am going to start smacking some bitches soon because come the summertime a certain “interest” in my life has sworn that he is going to kidnap me and take me up to the boundry waters for a vacation AND I AM GOING!!! dammit!!! but….of course as the fathers fail it will be dadududummmmmm SUPERMOM to the rescue! woe is me

My “non” date date

So on Friday I was suppose to hang out with my buddy who was coming down from college.  I never really thought of it as a date however several others told me that it was.  I was to get a call from him when he got into town and we would go from there.  I didn’t hear from him by the time I got off of work so I went over to my rents to play a little (ok a lot) of guitar hero. My mom and i started drinking and about an hour after playing i got a phone call.  He said that he was starting to get hungry so he thought that maybe we could meet at Houlihans for dinner.  I asked him to give me about an hour (i had to go to the booze shop to refill dads beer :O) and finish my fix of GH!!!   So we met at Houlihans around 8pm and had good food and conversation ( and more beer…mmmmmmm blue moon tap yummy).  Well, here is where several people consider that it 0fficially became a date….i took of to the bathroom because obviously i had broken my seal (3 hours and 6 beers…yeah seal broken)….and while i was in there the sneaky little (i would say bastard but i like him) poo poo head PAID for the whole thing! So…i told him he had to come back to my house and help me kill off my booze in return….

We get to my house and he has a little survey for me to complete…its for school….so is it still a date if he is testing me???  You tell me.  Anyways, the two of us have decided that it is completely impossible to watch a whole movie together.  We have tried twice and failed misserably….unless someone were to tie us up and put duct tape over our mouths its never going to happen…and we are not doing what you think we are doing…we talk NON STOP….which is awesome just the same   So i got drunk…oh so very drunk that i got into a fight with my house and it gave me a shinner … and maybe a slight concussion too.  I believe we ended up going to bed around 3:30am which was yes early for the two of us BUT i did look like a pinball going up my stairs bouncing all over the place…so it was probably a good idea.  i conked out pretty much…which is good cuz i then wouldnt do anything too advanced…and i didnt YAY ME! So he had a to be in Saint Paul at 9am for a climbing competition and ended up waking up at 6:30….he got ready to leave and right before he takes off he hugs me and says “dont you go getting a boyfriend anytime soon”.

and there you are….so you tell me

eek gads :O

First and foremost…i miss my drug store…and by that i mean the addorible red head that use to sit over by me….my days drag since she moved on to bigger (hehe like belly) and better things!  I have no idea whats going on in her perdy lil head right now…other than reading her blog.  MY RAGU RED HEAD HOW ARE YOU

I have a date tonight and the biggest thing about it that pisses me off is that my mom emailed me saying that my dad and my nephew are going to the b-ball game tonight and she wanted to know if I wanted to come over and play guitar hero with her.  damn that woman….but i wonder if my date would want to go over there with me…i think she just likes to watch us play anyway cuz she loves most of the songs   Anywho about this date….dont know if it is an actual date cuz it is just a friend coming down from college and we have both (more i than him) made it clear that dating is not an option right now.  But he is SOOOOO my type…other than him being too good for me   But i am going to stay positive and hope that tonight is another up all night stimulating conversation mixed with booze and little hints of flirtation repeat of our previous encounter With a little Dane Cook mixed in this time ….we are hoping to watch Good Luck Chuck

ugh

SEEE….this was SUPPOSE to be posted FIRST…i am ready to pull my fucking hair out! 

k well first off, g-ma is finally going to start chemo on Monday, but they are unsure of what good its going to do….all in all they are now giving her 6-9 weeks to live.  I am finally going to see her today….i haven’t seen her since before she went into the hospital, i’m a little nervous and scared.

 Now….No Vegas for this girl my stupid breaks are shot so i need to replace them instead….but i did buy my elliptical machine yay for that and i got a really good deal on it.  Oh well….there’s always next year.

I friggen hate my life sometimes

So i get my friggen taxes back, decide NOT to go on my Vegas trip, buy an elliptical machine cuz its more practical than buying a membership to a gym and then the FRIGGEN breaks and all other shit falls apart in my truck and i have to pay an arm & a leg to get them repaired…in the chaos that is my truck & visiting my g-ma and taking care of my sick daughter (who’s been home from school the last two days) guess who forgets to pay rent ….FUCK and doesn’t have all the $$$ for it…i am so friggen screwed i will never get back on my friggen feet  NEVER.  REally i never splurged on anything …. if i hadn’t already put the elliptical together i would return it….(i tore apart the damn box trying to get the heavy ass thing into my house as well).  And then i still owe Amaya money and my doctor i wanted to pay off…hopefully a payment plan…but i am saying FUCK MY AUNT cuz its her fault that i am in this situation with that damn truck in the first place…i know i should accept their “genorosity” if you can call it that….but fuck that! fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck!  and now i cant even buy xmas gifts for everyone like i thought i could…i fucking suck! fuck!