Friggen Frack

That is seriously my friggen mood today, i want to go around punching d-bags, shidiots and tards all day long! STAY OUT OF MY WAY.  It started with Friday…. (imagine one of those little dream bubbles coming out to tell a story)….Friday night I went out with the ex….the one that I still care deeply for, even though we have our issues.  The really sad thing is that we got a long GREAT for the entire time we were together.  We never argued once….i know at one point I bitched about how I thought the boy didn’t have a spine…but god compared to so many relationships it was so nice being with someone who would really do anything in their power to make me happy (for the most part).  Anywho….he told me on Friday that “We will make this work” and “ Just tell me what you want me to tell my roommates”….for those of you who don’t know his roommates are the BIGGEST reason that we are not together…their a bunch of d-bags, shidiots and tards (that I would like to go around punching).  The thing that really friggen sucks about this whole crap ton of a problem is that I might actually for once in my life love someone. (other than family and kids of course) and now I don’t know what the hell to do.  Its making my temporarily insane!  So after that whole night of him saying things that I long to hear….i tell him that we really need to sit down and talk.  He agrees but doesn’t really make plans of when to do that.  But he does call me on Sunday… we talk for a little while he is driving to his rents and then a bit more on his way back to his house.  It gets emotional…I get emotional, he gets quiet.  So I tell him that I need to let him go and he tells me that he will call me tomorrow (Monday).  This is where I get really pissed….so last night I decided to bake an apple pie…why well because I love the smell of it (hate the taste) and have a shit ton of apples that no one is eating.  So as I am baking this pie I get a text from the ex saying “ Hey I wanted to call you but I am stuck around a bunch of peopleL”  ….so I reply with “ What do you mean by stuck? Do they have you tied up? Just forget it ***** I’ve always known where I stand when it comes to parties and friends”I left it at that for a good 20 minutes…trying to focus on my pie…which I couldn’t so I called him and he answered .. and I said “Well, I’ll do this the proper way…over the phone….forget my name forget my number we are done”….and this of course took the conversation into a very heated discussion both of us not really listening to the other.  Anyways…it all ended with him hanging up on me and me bawling my eyes out in front of my children and then throwing away my unfinished apple pie BASTARD!!!!  Well…I needed to get the kids to bed and I needed to calm down so I took a bath…and he started texting me and yes I am going to tell you all of them: Anything in Blue is from him….purple me.“Its sad because I really wanted it to work, I just needed more time than a day since Friday but I guess you made up my mind for me again” and what he means by that is that when I broke up with him in December it was because I knew I would never be equivalent to his friends/roommates so instead of making him pick I made the decision for him….and I told him that I kick myself in the ass every day and I should have made him pick!“No I made up my mind for me because I don’t fell like you ever wanted me back and I know I’ll never be as important to you as you are to me”“I can prove it.  I’ll spend all week with you.  I’m sorry im so bad at showing it but I really want to be with you and it hurts to lose what little we started the second time”“Please give me a chance this week, Im an idiot and I want the chance this week please I really want to be there with you”“Please Brandie, it worked once and if you really want it to work again give me the chance this week”“I don’t want to make you cry, L it makes me hurt too”“I understand that this is going to take more than a week, but the effort that you put into this week will show me how much I actually mean to you”And basically from there on out it was just him saying that he would make it up to me and I could “have” him as much as I wanted to this week.  What the hell is wrong with me????